Retreat is NOT the word you imagine…

Hello – I am leaving on a work retreat this morning. People tend to think of work retreats as fun and things to do and camaraderie of each other.  Well that is part of it (dare I say the worst part for me) and the other part is work. WE are developing a strategic plan for the next three years and 10 of us are going to work on this.

So what’s the problem?

I get sooo damn anxious about anything social and I have to be in a house with 10 people for three days; sharing bedrooms, meals, bathtime schedules, going to bed at different times, waking at different times and me just wanting to be me – at home snug in my room.


The weather is also an issue. There is a huge storm headed our way. I love the snow, I really do, but driving to our destination with others and then worrying about walking on the ice (I am post op from a hip replacement) sounds awful. Again, curled up at home watching the snowflakes and calling in on a meeting sounds much better.\

I can’t really get out of this and I am doing my best to stay positive about what the retreat will entail. I am looking forward to the work part. I can wrap my head around that. The social part, not so much.

I think I have packed everything. I have to be sure I have alllllll of my medications (and let anyone see the vast amount of pills I take) and night shirts and day shirts that will cover my arms – cover the vast amount of scars including some new ones that I have created with my self-injury.

Maybe “talking” about this here on my blog will help. I don’t what really worries the most – feeling out of place with a bunch of loud, boisterous folks, or having people wonder why I am so quiet and want (and desperately NEED) time alone. The snow will keep us from getting out much. The house we are staying in is beautiful so that is a plus.

I WILL make it through this.

I KNOW I will.

I thank you for reading my stresses. I hope this might help others realize that there are many of us out there that suffer stress when getting placed in a new situation.

The stress and anxiety will fade with time. Or, there is always an Ativan to get me through the worst of it.

Thanks again for reading

Jackie Wood

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